~ I Linger ~

~ I Linger ~ 

"Over the hill, and through the glenn I linger
It is here you can come to me ~
Safe to carry your ache and your tears
And lay them down in the soft grass ~
I will tend to them.

Time and again I will wait for you here ~
You will feel me touch your cheek
As the breeze brushes your skin
Safe in the knowing that it is in the release
You will begin to heal.

Know this my love ~ I am ok.
Can you feel that when I say it?
How true it really is?

It is you I am caring for now ~
Carrying you across the bridge of sorrow
To the other side ~ where the sun shines
And you remember the days I was with you
Rather than the days I was not.

I wish you godspeed in that journey my love ~
For it is there that once again our hearts unite
And we carry on ~
Apart ~ and yet ... in so many ways
Together again.

It is what I wish for ~ and know it will come to be
That you remember me with love and laughter
For it is only then ... we will be free."

Christa Thompson

Lost In A Civil War

...."Our friend died on his own battlefield. He was killed in action fighting a civil war.He fought against adversaries that were as real to him as his casket is real to us.They were powerful adversaries. They took toll of his energies and endurance.They exhausted the last vestiges of his courage and his strength.At last these adversaries overwhelmed him.And it appeared that he had lost the war.But did he?I see a host of victories that he has won!
For one thing,he has won our admiration,because even if he lost the war,we give him credit for his bravery on the battlefield. And we give him credit for the courage and pride and hope that he used as his weapons for as long as he could.We shall remember not his death,but his daily victories gained through his kindnesses and thoughtfulness, through his love for family and friends,for animals and books and music,for all things beautiful,lovely and honorable.We shall remember not his last day of defeat,but we shall remember the many days that he was victorious over overwhelming odds.We shall remember not the years we thought he had left,but the intensity with which he lived the years that he had.Only God knows what this child of His suffered in the silent skirmishes that took place in his soul.But our consolation is that God does know,and understands. "

the Reverend Weston Stevens,quoted by Norman Vincent Peale

Dear Mr. Hallmark

I am writing to you from heaven,
and though it must appear
A rather strange idea,
I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit,
your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother,
as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought,
every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card,
from a child who lives in heaven.


She is still a mother too,
no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands,
but oh the tears she’s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you,
that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now,
I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me;
we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now,
would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart,
her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me,
sometimes far into the night.

She plants flowers in my garden,
there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents,
trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark,
though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way,
to remind her of her wondrous worth

She needs to be honored,
and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark,
I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do;
to you I’ll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her,
how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself,
when she joins me in eternity.

~Jody Seilheimer

Eternally

ETERNALLY

 
Mother’s Day is coming soon,
I know this breaks your heart.
I wish that I could call you,
Or send a special card.
This year I won’t be able
To do these things for you.
Although you cannot hear me, I’m saying I love you.
I wish that we could be together,
In a way you understand,
Although you cannot feel me,
I’ve been holding your hand.
I know you need me there with you,
You miss me more each day.
Although you cannot see me,
I have not gone away.
For a Mother’s love for her child
Cannot be torn apart.
Even death cannot destroy
The love inside your heart.
The bond we share is stronger
Than the rules of life and death.
And I know that you will love me
As you take your dying breath.
Then we’ll be together again,
The way it was meant to be.
Mother and child reunited
Loving each other
ETERNALLY.

ETERNALLY

Mother’s Day is coming soon,
I know this breaks your heart.
I wish that I could call you,
Or send a special card.
This year I won’t be able
To do these things for you.
Although you cannot hear me, I’m saying I love you.
I wish that we could be together,
In a way you understand,
Although you cannot feel me,
I’ve been holding your hand.
I know you need me there with you,
You miss me more each day.
Although you cannot see me,
I have not gone away.
For a Mother’s love for her child
Cannot be torn apart.
Even death cannot destroy
The love inside your heart.
The bond we share is stronger
Than the rules of life and death.
And I know that you will love me
As you take your dying breath.
Then we’ll be together again,
The way it was meant to be.
Mother and child reunited
Loving each other
ETERNALLY.

A Birthday In Heaven

How melancholy now this day when you were born--
A day we used to greet with balloons and streamers and song.
How I loved to see the smile on your face and in your eyes
As you saw the surprises we had hidden away.
You jumped with excitement at the thought of the party to come
With all your special friends
And games and music and prizes and fun--
And, of course, best of all, the cake made just for you,
Embellished with your name and age and all ablaze with candles.
Oh, the magic of closing your eyes and making the perfect wish
That was sure to come true!
Now, the only wish that I would ever make
Can never come to pass--
For you cannot return.
A great longing to see you and hold you and kiss you
Comes over me and brings me down.
Still, even in my grief, come flashes
Of memories that can never fade--
The sweetness of your smile and voice,
The goodness of your soul.
And deep within me rises again
The hope that we will meet once more,
In God's own time and place.
Happy birthday, my precious son! 

The Day That I Lost You

Another anniversary of the day that I lost you
It's really very simple, that day I lost me too
Although I try to find the me that I used to be
I will never find that person, for she is lost to me

I know it sounds confusing to those that have no clue
That when you lose a child, you also then lose you
It sounds like one big riddle that I should work on through
But there is not an answer, not one thing I can do

Grief is what has come to me and changed me from within
It has burrowed deep inside of me, like it's a second skin
No one should live on this way but there was little choice
When grief was handed out to me, I didn't have a voice

I often wonder who I am since losing my sweet child
In the world in which I live in, I've been forced into denial
With every anniversary that marks another year
Are thoughts that come from others, that my pain should disappear

I am a mother who has lost a child on a tragic day
And with that loss it took my dreams, and visions far away
I would have chose to leave instead, for life is not so good
For all that ever mattered, was my son and motherhood

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does it's work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

Author Unknown

Pack 51

If Their Song Is To Continue

"If their song is to continue, then we must do the singing." We have to find that special way that will allow us to sing our loved one’s song loud and clear . . . Knowing you are doing something to keep your loved one's memory alive keeps you passionately busy, allows you to tell your sacred story, adds joy to your heart, brings an array of beautiful, loving people into your life, and rewards you with a meaningful life again. Your loud voice will echo in many hearts making sure your loved one is never erased from memory.

A Breeze Will Blow...

By Lyndie Pavalon formerly Sorenson

Another day on the horizon
Bright sunshine will light the sky
A breeze will blow across my skin
As my angel passes by

I love when you come visit
Leave that special sign for me
A rainbow sent from heaven...
butterflies that soar so free

Your spirit does surrounds me
You are close... but yet so far
This difficult life journey
Has left me here with such a scar

Tears that meet my mornings...
each day as I do wake
A mask I place upon my face
To hide this deep heartache

I was left behind with sorrow...
A love that transcends time or space
A wish for my sweet angel
For your gentle warm embrace

As the day drifts on towards night
Bright stars will light the sky
A breeze will blow across my skin
As my angel says good-bye

The Words Of The Uninitiated

The Words of the Uninitiated.
It's something we all encounter,
To a greater or lesser degree.
Some people who never lost a child,
Think they know better than me.
It is the scourge that can plague us,
When your child is forever gone.
'I know you won't get over it,
But you have to start to move on'. 
It's words like these that cut us,
And make us feel that we're wrong,
How dare they make assumptions,
That I am grieving too long.
'You need to get out and get moving,
It will do you good in the end'
How can they utter such platitudes
And still think they're a friend?
The worst one for me is comparison,
They think they have walked in my shoes.
They say they have lost a relative,
But a child is different to lose.
How can I explain what it feels like? 
How your life is so ripped apart.
How your heart wants to cease to function,
How every new day feels as bad as the start.
I know they don't mean to hurt us, 
They're wanting to help make us whole,
But when a part of your life is missing,
What's left is a huge hole in your soul
Yvonne Rhodes. 

Who Mat Was

Mat was funny and sweet and handsome and wonderful!
Mat was smart and clever.
Mat was someone you could call your friend and know that it was so!
Mat would do anything for a friend, sometimes that would get him into
some trouble, he felt it was worth it.
Mat was someone who thrived off of human relationships and bonds, someone
whose family was everything to him.
Mat was a perfectionist, what may have brought about his demise.
Mat loved music and SHOES, and American Eagle, and worn out jeans.
Mat loved learning about anything and everything. Mat loved to draw
and read a good Stephan King book on occasion.
Mat was kind and gentle and sweet.
Mat was a wonderful son who made us, his parents, proud beyond measure
on countless and numerous occasions.
Mat was a ladies man, and he was a romantic. He loved to buy pretty
things for his girl.
Mat was an exceptional human being, never again will he walk this earth
among us, and this earth is changed because of the decision that he made.
One night, in just a few moments, a few hours, his decision impacted the lives
of hundreds of people.
Because of a decision to end his life, countless others are now empty and without
his great and perfect love. Without his smile and his sweetness. Without him!
Mat may have been a million things, he may have been someone great or
should I say greater than who he was to us. An Einstein, an Edison, we will never know.
And that is my point exactly, we will never, ever know!

A Year Later

Am I different now?
Sometimes it seems that way--
That I have only one identity:
A mother who has lost a child.
Do others think of me that way, too?
The pain has seared my very soul
And left scars on my psyche.
Do they show?
Do strangers mark me as one who mourns?
I do sometimes laugh now,
But I never truly forget.
I remember HIS laughter
And wish I could hear it once more.
I feel guilty whenever I forget for even an instant
That he is gone and will never come back.
But my heart goes on beating
And my lungs go on breathing
And the days go on passing,
One by one.
I begin to take small pleasures,
Just baby steps at first--
Sights or sounds or colors or tastes.
But soon I am running again
And sometimes I even feel joy.
Then I remember
What joy HE always found in life,
And then I don't feel guilty any more.
I can almost see him smile
As I finally learn this lesson!
  Mat~ always in my heart where you started~ ~forever the brightest star in my sky~
                           ~as long as I have a breath left in me, my beloved,  I promise to keep you alive! Mama

Jenn Bostic "Jealous Of The Angels" (Lyrics Video)