Time

I thought that time was healing 
All the hurt you left behind, 
That empty spaces could be filled--
My arms, my heart, my mind; 
And though my body looks the same 
As it did when you were here,
The emptiness is growing
Even bigger with each year.

I thought that time was healing 
All the agonising pain,
That as the tears were fading,
Soon I wouldn't feel the same.
And though I can be smiling
And you think that I'll survive,
The pain is in my blood now;
I have nowhere else to hide.

I thought that time was healing
All the loss a mother feels;
That now you live within my heart,
I had you near me still.
But I need so much to touch you,
To see you smile again,
And those memories I'm told are mine
Can never feel the same.

I thought that time was healing
All the while the mask was worn,
That underneath a new me
Was waiting to be born.
But now I find I am the mask;
It helps to keep me safe,
And though my heart is breaking,
You won't see it in my face.

I thought that time was healing
All those tears my eyes have seen,
That aching arms that miss you
Could be satisfied with dreams;
But here I am, in pain again
And healing stands alone.
A mother weeps, the world can see
For a son who can't come home.

~Sue White