I Always Have And I Always Will

I do not breathe my darling without having a thought of you. I cannot!
I do not close my eyes before saying your name, praying for your soul! I cannot!
I do not pass by your pictures hanging on the wall, without feeling a tear fall from my eyes! I cannot!
I cannot go on another day without missing you more then I did yesterday, I cannot!
I do not look out the window and see life, I cannot!

Someone please tell me he will come back, you cannot!
Please tell me that he will pass around the corner and say my name again, you cannot!
Tell me that someday I will once again feel his touch, you cannot!
Tell me he will call for me, "mama" or speak the words "I love you too", you cannot!

Tell me that who I am today is better than who I was 1 year ago, you never will!
Tell me that I have so much to be thankful for, you can try, you never will!
Tell me that God wanted him for other things more important, you never will!
Tell me there is a reason, you never will!

I cannot accept nor believe that my child is gone, I never have and I never will!
I cannot accept that he will NEVER return, I never have and I never will!
In every breath I take, every memory I recall, every wish that I have wished and every prayer that I have prayed, each one encompasses my son.

And as a mother, they always have and they always will!

My darling Mathew, I miss you so very much! Everyday and every second I love you, I always have and I always will! 



(Written By Kathleen Riley)