It's Like Being On The Outside Looking In

It sometimes feels as if I am outside looking in at my life. Or so I wish! A nightmare that surely I will wake from any day soon! I am lost on most days, lost in thoughts of my son! It's as if the old me is screaming and clawing to get back in. But I fear it never will! The day I lost my angel is the day a hole started to develop way deep inside of my heart! My heart is leaking sadness and despair for a son I will never again hold in my arms, never again. Those words pierce me through and through, forever, never ever, they are awful words now! I feel like the woman in the picture looking at her life a year and 8 months prior just not able to get to it! My grief is the glass, and the fog and the gloom! It hangs over my soul and will not let me free! It will not let me free!