Grief is not the enemy. Grief is the teacher. But its lessons are not learned in the head. With the mind. Its lessons are heart lessons. Love-centered. Filtered through grace. Over and over and over again our mind will say “But, this is not fair.” “I don’t deserve this.” “Why me?” “I will never get over this.” “The pain will always be there.” Don’t get trapped in the viscous replaying voices of your mind. Grief is not a head-thing. Not if you want to heal. Healing grief is a heart thing. And when the heart speaks to you in silence it says I know darkness deep, all-encompassing, endless darkness so I will be light for the next person. I know loneliness even in (especially in) a room full of people so I will be friend for the next person. I know terror Indescribable, inexplicable terror so I will be comfort for the next person. And I know despair. Paralyzing can’t-get-out-of-bed life is too dark despair so I will be hope for the next person. And in time with grace and heart I realize that I am more of who I was not less. I am more. Not less. We think that grief is the enemy to be avoided at all costs. It is not. Grief is not the enemy. Great is the great, life-giving teacher. Not in spite of the fact that someone you love has died. But because of that fact that someone you love has died. Grief is the teacher. The life-giving, heart-expanding teacher. Because you have chosen to say yes to life to love to your beloved, really, over and over and over again. Grief is not the enemy. Tom Zuba
Mathew Jacob Riley, May 9, 1996 - April 20, 2013. This is a celebration and remembrance of his life. This is a place where I certainly hope that other mothers will find some hope, some peace. We as a family will never experience life quite the same without our beloved Mathew, but if we can persuade another heart to find hope, than our Mathew will live on forever!
Friday, August 30, 2013
Grief
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