Thursday, July 25, 2013


I thought that time was healing 
All the hurt you left behind, 
That empty spaces could be filled--
My arms, my heart, my mind; 
And though my body looks the same 
As it did when you were here,
The emptiness is growing
Even bigger with each year.

I thought that time was healing 
All the agonising pain,
That as the tears were fading,
Soon I wouldn't feel the same.
And though I can be smiling
And you think that I'll survive,
The pain is in my blood now;
I have nowhere else to hide.

I thought that time was healing
All the loss a mother feels;
That now you live within my heart,
I had you near me still.
But I need so much to touch you,
To see you smile again,
And those memories I'm told are mine
Can never feel the same.

I thought that time was healing
All the while the mask was worn,
That underneath a new me
Was waiting to be born.
But now I find I am the mask;
It helps to keep me safe,
And though my heart is breaking,
You won't see it in my face.

I thought that time was healing
All those tears my eyes have seen,
That aching arms that miss you
Could be satisfied with dreams;
But here I am, in pain again
And healing stands alone.
A mother weeps, the world can see
For a son who can't come home.

~Sue White

Monday, July 22, 2013

My Son

Twilight draws ever closer
Through the window pane;
I look to heaven in hopes to see
Your smiling face again.

Memories, sweet memories
Are what keep you near;
These I treasure with all my heart--
I hold them all so dear.

Remembering the love we shared
And how it was taken away;
We never got to say goodbye
On that fateful day.

One day we'll be together again--
As I gaze up to the sky,
I thought that I could see you there,
Learning how to fly.

~Lian Gell

Saturday, July 20, 2013

3 Months Ago Today

3 months today! I guess all hopes of me turning around and seeing you there and this all being a really bad, bad nightmare are all gone..Don't think 50 years from now if I lived to be a hundred, will I ever accept you are not here with me my beloved Mat! The tears come just as easily now as they did on April 20, 2013! Love you always and forever my baby boy! Kisses to heaven!

We Remember Them

At the rising of the sun and its going down, 
we remember them. 

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, 
we remember them. 

At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring, 
we remember them. 

At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer, 
we remember them. 

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn, 
we remember them. 

At the beginning of the year and when it ends,
we remember them. 

As long as we live, they too will live; 
for they are now a part of us, as we remember them. 

When we are weary and in need of strength, 
we remember them. 

When we are lost and sick at heart, 
we remember them. 

When we have joy we crave to share, 
we remember them. 

When we have decisions that are difficult to make, 
we remember them. 

When we have achievements that are based on theirs, 
we remember them. 

As long as we live, they, too, will live; 
for they are now a part of us, as we remember them. 

Always remembering you Mat! I Won't forget you!
3 months baby boy! Lost without you!

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Don’t Think I Do Not Grieve

Don’t think I do not feel;
Because you see no tears.
A river rages deep inside
Of grief, and loss, and fears.

Just because I do not cry now,
Don’t think my heart’s not broken.
I keep inside the misery
Of words not to be spoken.

Sometimes I smile, or crack a joke,
So you won’t see the pain;
Or notice how my hands still shake,
Or how I’ve gone insane.

Each time I chance to think of him,
My heart is ripped asunder.
The loss I feel is mine alone--
You will not see my thunder.

~Brenda Penepent

Friday, July 12, 2013


 My biggest fear was to lose my son,
now I’ve lost him my fear has gone.
There’s nothing left for me to fear,
I’ve lost the one I held so dear.

The worst is over, the horror is past,
The thing I feared most has happened at last,
No more do I worry, no more do I care,
nothing can hurt when a heart isn’t there.

I’ve been through hell and survived somehow,
nothing else can touch me now,
there’s nothing to fear of life to come,
I lost it all when I lost my son

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

One Day Closer to You

I sometimes ask the Lord
Why He took you before me,
And though He's never answered-
I guess it was meant to be.

I tell myself you're watching,
That you're never far away;
I sometimes feel the slightest touch
When I bow my head to pray.

I know heaven must have a window
With no curtain to hide the view,
I know you must stand there often
And watch me missing you.

I know you're helping me go on--
You're guiding me through the pain;
I somehow sense you're telling me
There's more sunshine now then rain.

Each new day now dawns with meaning--
Something inside of me rings so true,
Today will slip into yesterday
And I'll be one day closer to you!

~Rhonda Groves

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy 4th My Darling Boy

Happy 4th baby boy miss you everyday! Wasn't the same here without you! Your always on my mind and in my heart! I love you so much! Please visit me in my dreams baby love!