Friday, March 21, 2014

You Went Away

You went away in early spring
Just as the birds began to sing,
When snow still lay upon the ground,
And robins could nowhere be found.

And we went walking through the snow
To find the place your grave would go,
With wooden hearts and clouded thoughts
Of all the pain this day had brought.

I heard the crunching sound our feet
Made in the snow which was not deep;
My thoughts were jumbled...rambling...wild;
How could it be we'd lost our child?

How could it be when you're not grown
You have to God already flown?
No answers came to soothe my soul,
Which from that day will ne'er be whole.

The earth has circled many times
Since first I heard those mournful chimes
And seasons come and seasons go,
Though still my heart's oft filled with woe.

Looking back, I realize
Death took the sparkle from my eyes,
Bedimmed them both with pain and tears,
To suffer many lonely years.

That sense of loss is with me still
As I stand upon this ghostly hill
Where you and other children lie
In silent sleep beneath the sky.

And yet I know you lie not there;
Your soul can travel everywhere!
And someday you will come for me
And take me where I long to be.
I love you for eternity!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

I Always Have And I Always Will

I do not breathe my darling without having a thought of you. I cannot!
I do not close my eyes before saying your name, praying for your soul! I cannot!
I do not pass by your pictures hanging on the wall, without feeling a tear fall from my eyes! I cannot!
I cannot go on another day without missing you more then I did yesterday, I cannot!
I do not look out the window and see life, I cannot!

Someone please tell me he will come back, you cannot!
Please tell me that he will pass around the corner and say my name again, you cannot!
Tell me that someday I will once again feel his touch, you cannot!
Tell me he will call for me, "mama" or speak the words "I love you too", you cannot!

Tell me that who I am today is better than who I was 1 year ago, you never will!
Tell me that I have so much to be thankful for, you can try, you never will!
Tell me that God wanted him for other things more important, you never will!
Tell me there is a reason, you never will!

I cannot accept nor believe that my child is gone, I never have and I never will!
I cannot accept that he will NEVER return, I never have and I never will!
In every breath I take, every memory I recall, every wish that I have wished and every prayer that I have prayed, each one encompasses my son.

And as a mother, they always have and they always will!

My darling Mathew, I miss you so very much! Everyday and every second I love you, I always have and I always will! 

(Written By Kathleen Riley)

Sunday, March 2, 2014

"Beam Me Up" Pink Video Collage

Oh baby just beam me up! My heart is so broken, I still cannot fathom in my mind your not here. I can't turn around and see your smile....ever! I close my eyes and see your sweet face, your smile and I hear your voice every single day! I just want to scream, this isn't funny just stop it and come home right now....but it wouldn't matter! All I have are these pictures in my mind! Love you baby boy....Mama!

Pink - Nobody Knows (with lyrics)

I miss you always my sweet, sweet baby boy! Nobody knows, nobody! Mama!