I never really thought about it, hell that is, wow do I think of it now! I live it everyday, every second! My own little agonizing hell! I want my baby back, thats all, its cut and dry, just give him back God! That may sound selfish but too bad! I just want my baby back! This is not fair to us! I know lifes not fair, but this is like living through absolute torture! There are days where Im sure I would have gladly been hung right along side of him! God help me I just want my baby back!